Thursday, October 22, 2009

This doesn't make me an alcoholic (midterms)

I've had this analogy since freshmen year where I compare midterms/finals  to drinking and being hungover.  Personally I think it is 100% accurate and I'm only found a handful of skeptics in the 20 or so people I have told.
so here it is...

Beginning of semester: you claim you're going to be a good student and that you will finish all your homework, attend classes, and maybe even read head
Beginning of the night:  you are going to be responsible and only have one drink, because honestly you have stuff you have to do tomorrow. 

3 weeks in to class: by now you understand which classes you have to do work for and which classes you can skip
Drinking routine: you know what bars has drinks specials, how much liquor you can handle, and what to wear to get free drinks.

2 weeks before midterms/finals:  you have almost completely stop doing the reading, taking notes, and attending large lectures.
Shots: the point in your night where you forget that jager bombs make you throw up and that opening a tap on Dollar-U-Call it night may be a stupid idea.  but this is also the point where you think dancing to Miley's Party in the USA is the best idea ever!

The week before your midterm: when you realize you have 3 books to read, 2 papers to write, and 3 exams worth half of your grade.
Blackout mood:  the point when all of a sudden the 5 shots you took a half an hour ago is finally hitting you.  the point where you need help walking to the bathroom and you actually order water at the bar. 

The day before midterms: The night where you pass out reading "The Complete History of Germany" and you honestly believe that the rest semester you will do all the readings and finish all your homework. 
Right before you pass out: curled up to the toilet and telling yourself you had no idea how you got so drunk

The hour before your midterm: crap. the point where you realize you are not prepared and you tell your self "never again"
The hour after you get up: crap.  the point where you realize you are still in your clothes from the night before and you are to afraid to move in case your body decides it wants to throw up.  you constantly tell your self "never again"

After the midterm: that sucked, but it wasn't that bad.  next time I'll just keep up on the readings.
End of the next day: wow being hungover sucks, but it is over now and it wasn't that bad.  next time I'll just drink less.

A week later: you didn't do that bad on the midterm and you have completely forgot how much "studying" the night before sucks
Shots: lets be honest you are only in college once and everyone does love dancing to Miley.

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